‘I have been rejected by dozens of men over dowry’

BBC News:

Dowries have been illegal in India since 1961, but the bride’s family is still expected to gift cash, clothes and jewellery to the groom’s family.

Now, a 27-year-old teacher in the central city of Bhopal has started a petition asking the police to deploy officers at marriage venues and conduct raids to put an end to this “social evil”.

Gunjan Tiwari (not her real name) tells the BBC her petition is rooted in her own experiences of being rejected by dozens of men over dowry.

The most recent incident took place in February when her father had invited a young man and his family to their home in the hope of finding a match for her.

After her parents had exchanged pleasantries with the guests, Gunjan walked into the living room, carrying a tray with cups of steaming hot tea and snacks for the guests.

She describes the moment as “unnerving”.

“Everyone is staring at you, they are all sizing you up,” she told me on the phone from her home.

A lot of meticulous planning had gone into when and how Gunjan will appear before the guests. Her mother had chosen a green outfit for her because she thought her daughter looked especially fetching in it. She also advised Gunjan not to laugh as it would draw attention to her uneven teeth.

It’s a drill Gunjan is all too familiar with – having done them six times in as many years. The questions they asked her were also familiar – about her education and work, and whether she could cook.

Before entering the room, she had heard her parents ask the prospective groom’s father how much dowry he expected. “We had heard that they wanted 5m to 6m rupees ($61,000 – $73,000; £48,100 – £57,000). When my father asked him, he joked that ‘if your daughter is beautiful, we’ll give you a discount’,” she says.

As the conversation progressed, Gunjan says she figured a discount was not going to be offered – the visitors asked her about her uneven teeth and the mole on her forehead.